I like this very much indeed. It has a good scheme and feels like something one of the Preraphaelites could have written. It doesn't just expand on the quotation, but achieves a literary integrity of its own while still attending to its roots in the Professor. Careful and fluent.
The only query I have is with "grievance' thrall" - it would normally be "grievance's thrall" but this would disrupt the rhythm. Perhaps it could be presented as a compound noun - "grievance-thrall" - or would that be too clumsy?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-17 02:00 pm (UTC)The only query I have is with "grievance' thrall" - it would normally be "grievance's thrall" but this would disrupt the rhythm. Perhaps it could be presented as a compound noun - "grievance-thrall" - or would that be too clumsy?